Last days before school heads back for term 3 and I think we are all ready for us to get back into our routines.
We have had heaps of fun with library activities and also enjoyed a night at Disney on Ice thanks to Melbourne Mamma . It was the most magical experience and the kids just loved every moment.
Some days are harder than others. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning, you feel the stress, the chaos, the pressure.
Being a mum comes with a variety of emotions, it brings pleasure, happiness, immense love, laughter, anxiety, fear, moments that make you smile so much and moments that make you feel like crying.
Some days I deal well with the overload of emotions but other days I feel tired, consumed with it all. Unable to emotionally step away from the fighting, the nagging and the two-year-old tantrums.
Mother’s day comes with so many expectations.
Perfect breakfast in bed, perfect day out with the family, getting spoilt with flowers and gifts and perfectly behaved children for the day.
But then reality gets in the way and none of that happens the way it’s “meant” to. Perfect breakfasts end up with a sink filled with dishes, perfect day with the family doesn’t happen as expected and the perfectly behaved children… well, that really wasn’t going to happen was it.
Sometimes I feel down, I think about lots of things, I question things, I question why some people do certain things, I wonder why some things are the way they are and then I stop.
Sometimes I need to be reminded of what makes me smile, what makes my heart skip a beat, what makes me shed a tear of joy, what makes every day worthwhile.
Sometimes I need to remember a few of the moments that make me love life
It’s been three years,
it still hurts and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you
we miss you,
I hate that you are missing out on so much of our lives,
I hate that we can never hear your voice again, see you smile
I finally realised that the grief was making me sick,
I worried about getting sick or even worse seeing someone else I love get sick
I’m not doing that anymore,
I know you wouldn’t want me to
I am living and loving every minute now,
the good bits and the bad bits
all because I have my favourite people in the world around me
all of them except one
I miss you dad
I needed to write this