Is it wrong that I don’t feel like Christmas?

No matter what goes on around me it just doesn’t feel like a joyous time.
I wish I could fix it, but I can’t.
I need to bake for orders so I do it, but I don’t bake for enjoyment.
I need to take photos , but even then, I can’t see anything to photograph.
I need to wrap presents, I need to put on a face, I need to be celebrating but all I have are tears.
Is it easy for others who have experienced the loss of a family member to be able to go on and celebrate these first occasions without the sadness. Probably not.
I wish those around me would understand this, but some don’t.
Do I care…no.

Had to get it out of my head as my heart has been aching for sometime now and the happy face has been packed away for now…is that wrong?